The opinion of other people can change your life and not always for the better. It starts early in your childhood when your parents force you to do something, they like much more than you do. They buy you clothes they like; choose the activities they enjoy simply because they are sure that they know better because of their age and life experience. Of course, the parents want to give us the best possible things, but they don´t understand that they deprive their kids in making their own small decisions. Further on in school kids also learn how to be someone others want to see instead of showing their individuality. This is how creativity is killed as well. Those of us who are strong enough to show their personality come across with incomprehension of the society. Still, before you blindly accept and believe the things about you and your life which are constantly being said by the others, you should focus on five essential reasons why you shouldn´t give a damn about it.
You cannot be loved by everyone
Unfortunately, this attitude is raised in kids starting at a very young age. Kids are regularly told what is right and what is wrong, how they should behave to please their parents and be good boys and girls in their eyes. This is how we all learn to play different roles standing in front of different people to make sure we are “good” for them and deserve their respect and approval. In fact, the parents often reflect their wishes and life perspectives on their kids and mix them up with parental experience. Sometimes it even turns into a form of obligation and this is how some teenagers end up studying something they don´t even like or even worse, live their life in a way which will never make them happy. Living in balance with your needs and wishes is the crucial thing to be happy. That´s why you should stop listening to your family members, neighbors or unknown people who don´t understand you and your life.
Whenever this programmed impulse coming from your childhood to be loved and appreciated by everyone comes up, just think that you don´t owe anything to those people. Many people will never understand the way of your life, the things that are important for you, and will try to kill your confidence to keep you where you are or where you have been. That´s because they don´t want you to get better than they are and not because you are unworthy or doing something wrong.
If you know what you want and what makes you happy, just keep going that way. Listen to your inner voice because only you know what is right for you and who you truly are. So, don´t let some people who are losers in their own life get you down on social media platforms or in real life.
Everyone has their own wishes and life perspectives
Though our families mean well with us, they still see themselves in us more than they see us as individuals. That’s why the biggest family dramas happen when kids or teenagers develop their own interests which their parents cannot understand. So, some of my friends had to visit numerous courses or extracurricular activities they didn´t even like for years.
Not seldom another interesting thing happens. Some parents give their kids a chance to choose their activities but if they don´t like them anymore and want to quit, they turn into a kind of quitters and losers in their parents´ eyes. I tried out numerous things at my teenage age to find out what I liked and what I wanted to do. Doing some of them, I quickly understood when something wasn’t my thing and said it directly to my parents. Unfortunately, every time I did it, I felt as if I couldn´t finish what I´d started. At least, some of my relatives made me feel this way. It was hard for me to realize that the people who were supposed to support me in everything that I did, saw me as a quitter. In fact, even today I start many new things because I love learning something new and get better every day, but I quit some of them if I feel like it´s not my beer. I just don´t see any sense to waste my time on something that I know is not for me.
It doesn´t matter who says anything concerning your life, your tastes, and your goals. If you have chosen your way and you know that is the right one, just go for it! Life is too short to make other peoples’ dreams come true.
People gossip a lot
We all should have learned it long ago; people gossip a lot and love doing it. Period! On one hand, it´s something nasty but normal because people in general show interest in everything that happens around them. On the other hand, it´s such a bad and awful habit to drag peoples´ names through the mud. I try to avoid getting involved in any rumor mill by all means. The thing is that it´s too easy to make yourself believe some ridiculous stuff about someone, especially when everyone around you talks about it. So, I prefer believing only the things I see and know myself.
Let the people gossip because this is what they will do anyway. You´ll always be the underdog if you live differently from what the society expects from you. As a woman, hitting a certain age without having a husband and kids will make people believe that something is desperately wrong with you. If you´ll want to completely change your life one day and quit your boring office job, people around you will probably think that you´re crazy. Who would even think that such light-headedness could be normal? How dare you to not think about your future, your retirement, or simply getting seriously ill?! Considering all this you should stay at the office for the rest of your life and not play Christopher Columbus chasing your happiness across the world. Still, as I´ve said it above, it´s up to you to decide which road you´ll hit and why. Luck means something different for every one of us and only you know what it means for you and where to find it.
People badmouth others when they´re unsatisfied with their own life
Gossiping and badmouthing a lot is a usual thing for those who have nothing interesting going on in their own life. They appear so miserable in their own eyes that they have to have something to gripe about speaking of successful people. It doesn´t even matter how hard and long anybody has been working on getting successful, such people will always speak nasty things about them. Who didn´t hear something like this before: “Oh, how can such a young girl possess such an expensive car? For sure, she has an affluent lover!” or “he is so rich. I bet he´s been doing some illegal stuff”. The fun stuff is that people who say something like that don´t know those individuals and never had a chance to speak to them in person. How the heck are they supposed to know about how they made their money?
It´s just much easier to accept that someone is more successful than you because he/she cheats and lies or simply had huge luck in life instead of thinking of how hard these people have probably worked. The most difficult thing to accept is the fact that you are to be faulted for being where you are at the moment because of your laziness and lack of discipline. This is a huge portion of unsatisfaction with everything in their life that speaks from the inside in an aggressive and offensive form somewhere on the web or at social media platforms.
That´s why I should never listen to or take the words of such nasty people to heart. It´s not about you they try to offend, it´s about them who try to forget how miserable their life is. Even if you´re still on the go towards your goals and someone tries to talk you down, don´t believe it. Lazy people hate it when others want and work for more instead of lying on the couch for the rest of their life. Not for nothing they say: “jealousy is what you get when you achieve something. Sympathy is what you get for nothing”.
I´m wearing: blazer by Stradivarius / top by Asos / skirt by Stradivarius / sock-boots by Ego / sunnies by Michael Kors /
You´re free when you´re listening to your heart
To be really happy means to be free in your mind. It´s letting loose from all the inner blocks, limitations, and clichés. We tend to forget that life is all about being happy and not about solving problems the whole time. Additionally, we create problems ourselves way too often. Doing this we start to believe that life means nothing different than an eternal battle with circumstances. We believe in what people we don´t even know tell about us and our life, we are afraid to live and be happy just because the majority would never understand and accept it. Only in the end many of us realize that they didn´t live happily or even didn´t live at all. We shouldn´t wait until the end to realize that. The sooner we learn to listen to our hearts, the sooner we can start living our happy lives. Only doing something you really love will make your heart beat faster. Just allow you to feel it and go for it. The most complicated thing in the world is getting away from your inner blocks and false settings we got in our childhood. It´s a complicated way but if your life is limited by them, you must combat them.
I have discovered recently how many false settings I still have in my mind and how deeply they affect my life. I believed in them for so many years though they made me so unhappy. About a year ago, I decided to fight those inner demons because I want to be happy. This way is a difficult one with its ups and downs. It´s never easy to change your mindset but it´s so worth it. Still, all changes in your life should be taken because it´s your decision and not everyone else´s. In the end, you want to be happy the way you are doing what you love regardless of what other people say or think. Don´t be afraid to take the first step.
How often did you feel affected by other peoples´ opinion? Do you give a damn when others judge or critisize you?